VIRGINITY AN INDIAN TABOO!!

Virginity is considered a special gift that should be reserved for the spouse post-marriage

India has made great strides towards becoming an open and liberal society in the last couple of decades. But despite this positive change, we still haven’t gotten over a normal part of life — losing your virginity. It’s still considered a very big deal — a sin, in fact — for many in India.

It should come as no surprise that the taboo of virginity is applied more strongly in the case of women in India. It’s no wonder that honor killings are a common occurrence and the attitude of blaming the rape victim is largely accepted. A girl who holds on to her V card and waits to have sex until she gets married is believed to be pure and pious. Otherwise, the girl is considered corrupted, impure and somehow no longer worthy of love and respect.

While such beliefs are, of course, remnants of a patriarchal past, what’s shocking is the double standard in this regard. Men are exempted from the taboo of virginity. Somehow, it’s okay if a man loses his virginity before marriage. But for a woman, it’s simply unacceptable.

People are still holding onto this belief because the virginity of a girl is treated like a certificate of her moral character. They also fear the consequences. They fear that, say, if a girl gets pregnant before getting married, she won’t be accepted in society, no one will agree to marry her and her child will be termed illegitimate and treated unfairly. Families especially fear that they will be looked down upon in society and blamed for their upbringing.

These may well have been the norms back in the day, but now that we’ve advanced so much as a society, we should change our mindset about such things. Being a virgin or not should be taken for what it is — an individual’s choice that doesn’t concern anyone.

If a girl chooses to be physically intimate with her partner, it’s her decision. If she breaks up with the one she had sex with and marries another guy, that’s her choice and it should be respected. We shouldn’t buy into medieval beliefs about a virgin woman being “pure” or “clean.” These have all come about as a result of patriarchal norms from the past — which we, as a society, are now gradually leaving behind. It’s high time now that we dissolve the taboo surrounding virginity and accept it as a regular part of life.
Since the ancient times, a women’s virginity is considered her priced possession. In the old days, other than the male members of the family, women were restricted from contact with unfamiliar men before marriage, lest they lose their chastity. Also, it used to be very important for a man to assure the purity of his bride before marriage. And there were no such rules for the men being the dominant gender, they could not be questioned on their chastity. This reveals that the society has been lop-sided towards men since many years.

However, times have changed and virginity is not a big deal for today’s generation. People get into relationships and they do not have any qualms in having sexual intimacy without the surety that the relationship will culminate into marriage. Pre-marital sex has become quite normal in today’s day and age. But, when it comes to marriage prospects, men still believe in going for a virgin partner. Even now, in some and infact many sections of the society, a women’s sexual history raises eyebrows and sets tongues wagging. People start questioning the character of such women without even thinking twice.

In a time when our country has reached the moon and is striving for so much more, why is the virginity of a woman still such a big question? It is because of the culture and values imbibed in us that preach a women’s ‘purity’ should be preserved for her husband.

Women have excelled everywhere whether it’s education, business or technology and woman are allowed almost everything but, when it comes to sexual relationships, a girl is supposed to remain a virgin till she gets married. Marriage, for a girl, is actually attributed as a license to do anything while the boys are never confined from anything because of the factor that they have nothing to lose. A man desires to have a sexual relationship with his girlfriend but, wants a virgin woman when he has to choose a bride. This does not happen in all affairs and there are people in relationships who have had sexual-contact and end-up getting married, but, such cases are very rare. However, there are men do not have issues if their bride has had sexual relationships prior to their marriage, but then again, such men are found scarcely.

However, virginity is not a big issue in the West. In countries like the US, UK, Australia, people are open about the matters of sex.  Having sexual relationships before marriage is not a big deal for them and they think of it as a normal scenario. The developed countries are really liberal in terms of a women’s virginity as they think one’s character should not be judged on the basis of something like this and everyone should be defined as who they are as an individual. This signifies, there is more broad-mindedness and less gender-bias in the western countries. Infact, they consider women important in every field unlike our country, where people are still struggling to get strict laws for women safety.

Our country is actually stuck between twisted culture and modernity.

Women are allowed many things but not the right to have intimacy before marriage. The western countries are open about every topic, including sex, but people in our country still find it difficult to talk openly about this topic and instead, prefer to watch ‘porn’ in private.

Why is virginity still a big question for our society and why cannot we get over this taboo of chastity? Let’s work towards elevating a society which is free from hypocrisy and does not certify a women’s character on the basis of her virginity.

If a girl gets intimate with her partner it's totally her choice, her life and no one has to a right question her about her choice!
Hope you people would like my opinion!
Thank you fam for your choice!
Will be back soon again with the amazing stuff up!
Till then stay fab, stay fit!
Lots of love and hug- Hetvi❤