FEAR OF COMMITMENT IN RELATIONSHIP!!

Commitment can be a scary word for some people because of the implications of what it means to commit. For many, commitment symbolizes loss, feelings of being trapped or controlled.

Committing to another person involves consideration of another person’s thoughts, feelings and needs which implies a loss of independence in activities and decision-making.

Fear of commitment can involve many promises or life decisions. It can affect someone on issues as small as an agreement between friends to meet for coffee to as large a commitment as a decision about marriage.

There are many reasons why people fear commitment. Not all reasons are the same for everyone but I want to share with you some of the more common ones that I notice in my practice that specializes in relationships.

Loss of Independence

There are a lot of positive feelings associated with being in charge of your own life and not having to accommodate another person. For some, fear of giving up this ability to be in charge of their own time, space, money, friendships and decision-making can be scary.

So much of what would be required in a commitment may be unknown and the unknown, in and of itself, may cause some to back away or erect walls to stay away from commitment.

Fear of Intimacy

Those who fear intimacy are afraid of letting anyone get to know them very well. They find themselves unable to share their personal thoughts and feelings and keep relationships at a distance. While those with a fear of intimacy may agree to marry, they will have difficulty truly committing. Their guard always seems to be up.

For some with fear of intimacy issues, this also includes sexuality. There may be a fear of learning more about their own sexuality or shame and embarrassment over sharing their bodies with another.

Not Feeling Good Enough

Many people grow up without a lot of positive experiences from significant people in their lives. They may feel unimportant, struggle with self-esteem issues or worry that they are not good enough to hold on to any partner. To keep from being rejected, they steel themselves from any long-term commitments.

Trust Issues

Being afraid of intimacy and not feeling good enough are both factors in trust issues. Sometimes the trust is about the individual … believing that his or her good efforts are just not good enough. At other times, it is about the other person, believing that they will not see them as good enough to hang around in their lives.

Fear of rejection may cause people to always be looking for someone who is perfect for them. Of course, no one is ever perfect and, consequently, they never stay with anyone long enough to really develop a relationship.

There may also be the belief that any relationship will end and so there is no need to invest in a relationship when it is destined not to work out. Others may choose inappropriate or unavailable partners so that the relationship does not have a chance of working.

Commitment requires letting go of feelings and thoughts of fear. It involves taking personal relationships without knowing results. It involves being open and available for love and connection.

That's all for this time
Will be back soon with some more amazing stuff....
Till than stay fab, stay connected.
Lots of love- Hetvi❤